No, Your Kids Can **Not** Come to My Wedding
Kids at your wedding? Kids not at your wedding? Which one do you select for your wedding day? I had the chance to read Ashley's response on Redbook Mag and found her response quite troubling. Her response was not troubling because she didn't want kids at her wedding. Heck it's your money, you can do what you please. **It's My Party I can Cry If I Want To** My issue with this controversial piece is how rude and disrespectful her opinion is solely based on being a non parent.
Some of Ashley's points make total sense to me like:
1 - Not wanting to have kids interrupt the ceremony or the reception
2 - Wanting to allow adults to have a good time uninterrupted
3 - Not wanting to spend money on children
However some of Ashley's points, to me, are contradictions and I'll explain. But first before I explain this, note this is only my opinion from a Wedding Planner perspective. I'll also give some tips to help you decide if you will have kids at your wedding.
The first point that I found to be odd is that Ashley in the third paragraph gives a list of all the people in her life that have kids. She says how much she loves all of them. Scroll down a few paragraphs and she then says this:
My fiancé and I aren't even particularly fond of kids; why would we have them at our wedding?
RUDE!!! You can't both love kids and then not be fond of them. I digress.
As I read on I begin to get the feeling that Ashley was out to save parents from their "dreadful" kids. She was on a mission to ensure their parents aka her friends, had alone time to play with adults. I asked myself, do these parents forget how to be social with the people around them? Are their lives that miserable and lonely after having kids? If parents wanted to get away from their kids, they would. Parents only need a reason to do so. It is no one's job to create that mini vacation for them, but themselves. Of course friends long to see their friends. Hell I miss mine just by writing this blog post. But I know we all have lives and with our lives comes kids. Those adorable, hug-able, and yes at times devilish kids that we will still love because they are ours.
Some without kids would never understand how hurtful this can come across. Do you agree?
But enough about Ashley as we do hope her wedding in NYC went well. Lets break down a few wedding factors.
1 - We all know that weddings are expensive. Some couples can cut the budget by electing to not have kids. On average kid meals are about $30 per child and we HOPE they even eat that. Where's McDonald's when you need a good chicken nugget meal?
2 - If you decide to have kids at your wedding, but would rather have them seen and not heard (my mom says this a lot) consider Nannytainment. You cater to your guests while still having an almost kid free wedding.
3 - When sending out invitations, consider who has kids and who doesn't. If you really do not want kids to attend, think twice about sending out an invite. This can backfire as well if your friend finds out you had a wedding they weren't invited.
4 - Ultimately this is YOUR wedding. This is YOUR money. This is YOUR experience. How that looks for you is YOUR prerogative. Just be nice in how you address the matter. Parents shouldn't feel because their child is viewed as a nuisance and is why they can't come.
I know this is your big day. That fact doesn't give you the right to be mean about who attends your wedding....right? Considering your guests needs is a big deal that many event host and couples often times forget. We talk about it on our Facebook Page. What could have been an easy fix, may have ended a friendship with Ashley due to her comments about kids. You have every right to determine who will attend your wedding. Just go about enforcing that decision the right way. I certainly would respect that.
How do you all feel about this topic? Would love to hear from you in the comments below or join the discussion on our Facebook Page.