How To Become the Worst Super Bowl LII Party Host
Super Bowl LII is two days away and by now all party hosts should have a great idea of what they'll do to entertain their guests. I bet you've experienced at least one bad party questioning why on earth did the host even decide to have a party in the first place.
Certainly not all parties are created equal. Verses explaining what a good hosts looks like or even what to do when hosting your first party, let's talk about the hosts who will get the worst side-eye for trying our time on Super Bowl Sunday.
If you really want to piss off your guests and have them post about you on Reddit, follow each of these steps EXACTLY!
Don't Clean Up
These are your friends right? They should support you and enjoy your home no matter what right? Yeah sure they will.
Don't clean up the bathroom despite having dozens of people using it while over your house. Id go to the extent of not even bothering to ensure you have enough toilet paper, paper towels, and air freshener. Trust me, many won't use the bathroom after drinking and eating anyways. They're here for the game and pizza.
Food Is Not Required
The only thing that matters at your Super Bowl LII party is your TV. That's the main attraction. Grab you a few Hot Pockets and some cupcakes as snacks and you will be golden.
Don't have enough cups for drinks? Not a problem either. Just grab a 15 pack of Solo Cups and make sure everyone writes their name on the cup and pray no one misplaces theirs.
Make Sure You Invite As Many People as Possible
We all know everyone who says they are coming will not show up or give a lame excuse at the last second. Inviting more people than your home can seat is always something to overlook. People can easily stand for a few hours if they don't have a place to sit during Sunday Night Football.
Those who have been sitting for at least an hour can afford to stand up and let your pregnant friend sit down for a few seconds.
Don't Worry About Checking Your Cable Bill
We know that money can get tight and this may not be your paycheck week. Just pray that your Cable Provider will not turn off your cable Saturday night. We have faith in the cable gods.
Even if your cable is turned off your friends will still come over because you have Hot Pockets and cupcakes. It's all about the fellowship and not the game....at all. BONUS! You can probably just watch the National Anthem and Halftime show on Netflix since they stream live TV or Youtube via your phone. That's the most important part of the game anyway. Right?
Everyone Is Last Minute....Everyone!
Don't focus on inviting people ahead of time. Your friends have absolutely nothing to do over the weekends. Send a group text on Friday night inviting them to come. They will all RSVP.
Also don't even bother having your home ready before 6:30pm. Everyone will arrive exactly when the National Anthem is sung by Grammy Award winning artist Pink.
Assume Your Guests Will Figure Out It's Adults Only
Overlook that some of your friends may have kids. Trust me they won't bother bringing them because for you, your party is adults only even if you didn't tell them. Plus you just decided to spike the cupcakes with rum so that should be a good reason to keep the kids at home.
Even though you sent a text 2 days before your party, parents should easily be able to find a baby sitter.
Don't worry about activities during the game
Because this is a Super Bowl party, everyone will be glued to the TV. Check out The Telegraph attention span report, it's science. Don't worry about thinking of activities during the game or even commercials, your friends wont need or care for games.
Being a party host takes little to no preparation. Trust us. We have spent years as Event Planners in Washington, DC planning events on the whim. Clients love it and find all of our events very successful. We are experts in last minute planning so you should find following all of these tips extremely helpful.
Your friends will RSVP for the next Super Bowl party immediately!