Hello I’m A Jealous Bridesmaid / Groomsmen
Wedding season has kicked off and there is no better time of the year to be a selfish bridesmaid or groomsmen than now. Of course this isn’t your wedding, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be at the center of attention. All eyes should be on you and not your close friend who is getting married. That wouldn’t make any sense would it?
You might be reading this right now saying your wedding party would never dare be so selfish especially on such a special day. Well don’t speak for them so soon, because at least one person in your wedding party is bound to be selfish as hell in one way or another.
You don’t believe me?
Well let's outline what are some causes for a jealous bridesmaid or groomsmen.
When you announce your engagement everyone wants to be a part of it. Everyone feels they now have to display how well they know you and how long they’ve known you for. It’s a battle for first rights of refusal to be your Best Man or Maid of Honor. But of course no one would refuse that; it’s the top of the wedding food chain.
Often times your bestie whose mate has no immediate intentions of popping the question, gets hit with wedding reality when you say you’re getting married. Dream Girls Effie White “What About Me” plagues their thought process which turns into jealousy over you when you had absolutely nothing to do with their relationship. Hello Misery did you lose sight of Company?
Even if you don’t spot these possible jealous groomsmen or bridesmaids, here’s how you can spot some possible signs of jealousy.
The first example of a jealous wedding party member is the one who refuses to agree on any wedding plans. Nothing measures up to them. It could always be better. They believe every decision you make is a way to settle because you couldn’t afford better.
You want to host your bachelor or bachelorette party on a specific date? It doesn’t work for them. You want everyone to dress the same? It’s not fashion forward enough. You tell your DJ your first dance song and to them it's horrible. EVERYTHING is an issue for them and they can never agree on anything. It's like you're in a boxing match trying to win decisions about your wedding.
Second example is the one who never wants to do anything. Their excuse? “Oh this is your wedding you need to be the one making all the plans not me. I’m just here for the wedding day”. If that’s not a jealous friend, I don’t know what is.
The third example is the one who is always drinking. Trying on dresses, they want a shot. Hosting your engagement party, they are already on drink 4 and the party started 30 minutes ago. They drown their sorrow in cocktails which ultimately diverts your celebration into an Iyanla Fix My Life episode.
Mercy I could go on and one about spotting a jealous groomsmen or bridesmaid, but that wouldn’t be healthy.
Here’s how deal with a jealous bridesmaid or groomsmen.
· Ask your wedding party how they would like to help/contribute to your wedding. This way you allow them to focus on the things they love vs making it seem like a chore.
· Don’t gossip or vent to other members of your wedding party about a member of your wedding party that maybe drama prone. It’s only going to get back to that individual.
· If they genuinely present problems for you and your fiancé, allow them to not be a part of your wedding party. It’s only going to tarnish your wedding experience.
· If you see routines from said person, call them out on it, establish expectations and move on. Don’t allow things to go unaddressed. This is your wedding and it needs to be fun times.
· Finally, never accuse someone of being jealous even when you know for a fact they are. This will only prolong the issue verses coming to a resolution.
We know that weddings are emotional and we know it’s not just about you as the couple. Your family and friends are all invested in your wedding and honestly do want the best for you. However, our emotions can get the best of us and that means we act out. Just like a child we simply refuse to accept that we can’t have our cake and eat it to. Understand your friends, set clear expectations and hold on to the fun that comes with wedding planning.
Need more advice on how to handle a jealous wedding party member? Contact us and schedule a quick chat for more details.